• 2010 Reading List

    What I've read this year:

    "The Other Queen" by Phillipa Gregory (Rating: C)

    "The Welsh Girl" by Peter Ho Davies (Rating: A)

    "Mistress of the Sun" by Sandra Gulland (Rating: A)

Keep your face to the sunshine

Do you ever have one of those days when you feel like everyone around you is in a rut? I don’t know what it is – perhaps the back and forth between winter & spring – but everyone around me seems to be having a rough time right now…

Ironically enough, I am feeling pretty good. That means that my role is of cheerleader, confidant, and advice-giver. I am fine with being in that position at times, but sometimes, I feel like the process of offering someone else support drains me. Right now is one of those times.

Most women, myself included, struggle with the desire to please others. I am a “yes” person. It is difficult for me to say “no,” and it is something that I continue to work on. So how to you foster friendships & relationships when you feel as though the person needs more than you have to give at that particular moment? I certainly don’t want important people in my life to feel abandoned by me, but at the same time, I need to save enough energy to nurture myself and my family.

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For years, I have tried to live by the words of Helen Keller: “Keep your face to the sunshine, and you will not see the shadows.” Sometimes, though, it is tough. People keep pointing out the shadows to you, turning you toward them, and you have to maintain the independence and strength to acknowledge what you have seen, and then turn back to the sun.

Like everything else in life, I guess it is a balancing act. Hopefully, as the warmth returns, and we can all spend a little more time outside with our faces in the sun and our hands in the dirt, those around me will regain their footing and carry a little more of our shared weight.

All great relationships are like a see saw. Half of the time, one person is doing all of the leg work. But what makes it so fun is knowing that there is someone else at the other end, enjoying the ride because of what you are doing. I’m hoping that is what my relationships and friendships are like…

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One Response

  1. I hear you loud and clear! It is a fine line we walk as friends and supporters of loved ones. I have some in my life that I just can’t pick up the phone for unless I’m in a really good place. And sometimes if I’m in a really good place, I don’t want to be knocked out of it by picking up the phone. Sigh.

    There is supporting people through a rough time and then there is wallowing in the muck. I don’t have much tolerance for muck.

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